Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
