so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
