I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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