I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
