I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
