Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Randomize