I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
