I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
