Can Purell be used as lube?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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