She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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