i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
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