U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
