the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize