I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Randomize
