thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
