Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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