my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize