There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
