she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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