how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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