hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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