She just used a chaser for red wine.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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