so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
