If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Screwed.edu
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
