Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
