she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I accidentally had phone sex last night
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
