marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
