I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
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he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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