At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
