Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
