Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
