there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
