you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
