i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
