i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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