last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize
