she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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