Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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