If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
