thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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