Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
