corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
