New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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