why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
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The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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