who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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