wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
it's great music for shaving your balls
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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