how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
