im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize