Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
