it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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