do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
