Jerry, you need to find god
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
