The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
