Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
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