96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
