He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
