you told grandpa to call you daddy
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize