Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
