we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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