There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
