Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am one with the molecules
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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